Well douche your snatch and let's go!
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
We're too hungover to prance.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
