return my video game
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
