Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
