Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
