New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
