I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
