Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
