yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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