i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
