ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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