Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
