I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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