she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The beer is more important than you right now.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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