Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
