i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
