im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
