Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
