I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
