You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize