Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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