they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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