ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
