I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
