i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
