The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
