I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
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