two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
