you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
