dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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