Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
