im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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