You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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