Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
