you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
