5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
