Nicole vs. Life
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
babies were throwing up all over the place
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize