You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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