My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
either way he was missing a nipple.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
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