my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
