This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
