I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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