i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Barsexuality is the new black.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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