If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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