a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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