That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
