Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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