Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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