dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize