Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
