I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
i believe in u and ur pee
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