Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
