Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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