He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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