I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
