Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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