Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Randomize
