hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
