and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
