I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
